Grief
by heavenbenttotakemyhand
Summary: The NCIS LA team struggles after the death of their leader, Assistant Director Owen Granger.


_Author's Note:_ _This two part story doesn't do the topic justice but I wanted to express the grief we have all felt at Miquel Ferrer's passing._ _He was a Hollywood star here on earth, now he's a star shining down on us all from above._

With the whir of the sliding door, Eric swiveled in his chair, stood up, and took a deep breath before delving into his presentation on the latest information on the case they were investigating. He was in a bad mood today and so the less conversation he had to put up with, the better.

"I've looked at the cell phone records of the attorney whose computer system was hacked," He began, "Most of the calls were from those naval personnel who had contracted with him to write their wills or their family members. But there are a few anomalies. A few women, to be exact." Eric swiped photos of the three women in question up on the screen in Ops.

"These three women called him on his personal cell phone and also, based on his text messages, met him for lunch or dinner outside of the office after meeting with him for their estate planning."

Beale brought one to the forefront. "This one is his sister's wife," he said as he removed her photo from the screen. "This one is his former commanding officer's sister," he said, again, swiping the photo off the screen. "But this one doesn't appear to have any connections to him. They met for lunch or dinner a few times last month. So far I haven't located her in any of our databases so it's unlikely she has a military connection."

"Have you checked Interpol?" Nell asked.

"I was just about to do that," Beale said angrily, turning away.

Why had he assumed it was Granger who had come through that door? He was so frustrated with his Ren Faire group and the fact that no one ever listened to what he had to say about the costumes that he had forgotten the grim news that had come in the day before. It just seemed so surreal. Maybe it wasn't true.

Nell sighed heavily and reached for a Kleenex before turning away herself.

"Did she have to come in when she obviously has a cold?" He asked himself. That made him so mad. He didn't want to be sick for the 24 hour video game competition coming up the following weekend. A small hiccup from Nell made him turn in her direction. She was standing at the center table, trying to scroll through data on her tablet, as tears streamed down her face.

"Shit," he thought to himself. "She's not sick and I'm out of the competition anyway." Granger had been his covert video game team member for a few years now. The Assistant Director said it kept him out of trouble and kept him on his toes. But now he was gone….

He drummed his fingers against his knee and in doing so accidentally hit the small drawer in his desk. After a quick look around Ops, he opened the drawer and removed the contents. He took the bowl of M&M's over to Nell.

"Rough day, huh?" He started. And then stopped because he didn't quite know what to say after that. It turned out he didn't have to. Nell moved towards him and rested her head against his chest. Eric wrapped his arms around her.

Hetty slowly sipped from her steaming cup of tea as she watched the rest of her team arrive for the day.

Sam was schooling Callen, that much she could tell, and Callen was having no part of it.

"What was so important that you had to stay up all night instead of getting enough sleep to be sure you can cover my back if we go tactical today?"

"I keep telling you I don't need much sleep. I'll be fine no matter what happens today."

"You didn't answer my question. And I'm going out with Deeks today. You're staying in."

"Oh you think so, do you? Well it just so happens that I've been studying up on my biological warfare-"

"Well you are going to have to deal with his death sooner or later. Distracting yourself isn't a long term solution to- "

Sam stopped talking as the sounds of Kensi loudly berating Deeks came closer and closer.  
Callen raised his eyebrows and leaned back in his chair. The newspaper he was reading was all but forgotten.

When they saw Sam and Callen, Kensi stopped talking and walked to her desk. She sat down with a huff. After pulling his olive green messenger bag over his head and putting it on his desk, Deeks walked over to the coffee maker.

"You've got a little something-"Callen pointed out to Kensi. She reached up with her tongue and swiped away the glob of red jelly on her upper lip.

Deeks walked back and handed a coffee cup to Kensi. Kensi looked down at it blankly.

"Deeks- What is wrong with you? There's no coffee in this cup!" Kensi looked like she might throw the cup at him.

"Oh, right, sure, let me…," he stuttered, running his hand through his hair before taking the empty cup and walking back to the coffee station.

Callen and Sam exchanged an amused look.

"So did you pick up coffee when you got your donuts this morning?" Sam couldn't help but chide.

Kensi slapped her palm to her forehead and looked at Deeks who was standing by the coffee but had yet to pour any.

"Deeks- can you get our lattes out of the car! I hate drinking this swill!"

"Uh. Yeah. Sure." Deeks headed towards the door.  
"Deeks," Kensi called. He stopped and looked back at her but didn't get his hand up in time to catch the car keys she threw at him. They bounced off his shoulder. After picking up the keys he shuffled off.

"What's up with him?" Callen asked.

"There's nothing 'up' with him." Kensi said, opening her laptop in an attempt to end the conversations.

"Just seems like he's not firing on all cylinders." Sam added.

"Well maybe," Kensi speculated, "That is because he is not a car. "

"Touché." Sam couldn't help but tease.

Kensi's response was to reach into her bag and pull out a donut. Just a glazed donut- hardly any calories, but it would do the trick.

"I thought you were into that Keto diet now," Callen asked, putting his hands on the arm of his chair in case a hasty retreat was necessary.

"'Is Keto dohnut," Kensi replied. Then, when she had swallowed, she added, "And mind your own business."

Sam walked out to talk to Deeks. He found him sitting in Kensi's car. Sam opened the door and sat down in the driver's seat.

"Tough day. You doing okay?"

Deeks looked at him. "Am I riding with you today? I thought Kensi was coming out."

"Why don't you have some of your coffee while we chat? Maybe that will help clear your head." Sam suggested.

Deeks took a swig of his coffee. "I just can't believe-," He said and then stopped.

"You can believe he's gone?" Sam prodded.

"Yeah."

"I know. He was an amazing man. A legend."

"And too young," Deeks added.

"Kensi doing okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, she just gets better every single day. She can't always see it but I can."

"She seems kind of crabby today."

"Yeah, well, this has hit her hard. I think it reminds her of her dad, you know. Since he and Granger..."

Deeks leaned his head against the car window. He yawned.

"You get any sleep last night?"

"You're not going all Nate on me right now, are you dude?"

"Ha! I guess so. I'm just trying to decide if we all need to take some time off to get used to the idea of Granger being gone."

They both thought about that.

"It might not be a bad idea to lay low for a few days. But I think Granger would want us to keep fighting."

"That's true."

"How do you do it, Sam?"

"Do what?"

"Manage a family and the job. This job. All the deaths."

"It's not easy. You just can't think about it though. If you want to start a family, you just have to do it."

"Wait- wwwhat? Who's talking about starting a family?"

Sam slapped his shoulder, "Let's head back in." He grabbed Kensi's coffee and the two walked back into the Mission.

Callen and Kensi were nowhere to be seen.

Hetty stood at the top of the stairs. She adjusted her glasses. "Everyone up in Ops," She said simply before turning away.

Callen walked in shortly after Deeks and Sam. They all looked at him questioningly.

"Where's Kensi?" Deeks asked.  
"Haven't seen her," was all Callen had to say.

Meanwhile Nell was checking the Mission's surveillance cameras. "Looks like she's in the burn room."

"I'll get her," Callen volunteered.  
"No. Deeks better go down." Deeks ran out of the room. Sam noticed Nell's face was red and her eyes were puffy. He walked over and gave her a hug.

"Why don't we take a moment to compose ourselves and meet downstairs in the bullpen. Be prepared to be out of the office for the remainder of the day." Hetty suggested as she pivoted and walked slowly through the automatic doors.


End file.
